WHAT?????

Oh my god................ why am I up. It is way too early for me on a Saturday morning. Pocket Full of Sunshine is up, no surprise, but I'm up as well. Watching the weather right now because I was holding out for the Sun today with Pride going on in Atlanta, but it looks like it's just not going to happen. I guess we might be considering plan B. Hummmm...........

I might just have to bunker down and watch some football. I could grill something on the pool house grill or make some chili, drink some beer, and not dip........ Maybe the Lake!!!

Yesterday was a hard day. I struggled a bit. Work is stressing me out! I have project after project stacking up and it seems difficult to move forward on any of them because of the inability of others to put their unproductive egos to the side. I'm also finding it difficult to be heard at work. Me and my "work Spouse" (It's an inside joke) work hard to make all of this moody technology come together and benefit our Public Safety Network but we are constantly ignored. We are in positions that are dominated by men and they just don't want to listen. We have to constantly prove ourselves. It takes a lot longer to get a problem solved when we have to wait for them to figure it out while we have been trying to tell them the point of failure, and then show them the point of failure but still have a system that is not functioning as it should. I really would just like to bake cakes.......

Have a little shop on the square that has an outside area with a couple of small tables for people to sit at on pretty days. We would have a simple lunch menu, Some salad options, a few soups, a full service coffee bar, maybe do some toasted sandwiches, and treats for desert of course. Sweetest Day Cakes is what I would name it. It would be so much fun. I should have listened to that saying "Do what you love and you will never work a day in your life." Of course, I could spout off a lot of sayings I have heard throughout my life that I could have listened too. My father is full of them. We can recite them in unison at the dinner table. It is always a good laugh!

Alright I got off subject a little bit. It's probably due to the fact that I'm awake right now. I'm a little fuzzy..........

Anyway, yesterday was a stressful day. We spent the day riding around the county establishing for the 2nd, 3rd time (i have lost count) that we have a serious point of failure that is not ours. It worked for a little while and it was beautiful, but it did not last for long. Monday we start the battle again. The finger pointing will begin and as always it will be pointed at us, although we have proven the opposite. These engineers seem to think that I know how to make their system work. No, No, No, see that is why we paid you lots of money to put the system in place.

It's the nature of the beast.......

Ok, I'm finished bitchin and moving on with my day. Yesterday is in the books, I didn't do very well. Dipped more than I have all week, but today is a new day. No work today. Now I need to figure out what to do today........

I pick this to start the day with:

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

TGIF.....

Ok, so it's Friday the 5th day of the Dip Project...... my status is pretty good. The plan for the first week was 1 can a day and I am happy to say out of 5 days I have just opened my 3rd can. Pretty good I think. Next week I cut back to one can every two days. No exceptions. I get a can on Monday and then no matter what I can not open another one until Wednesday morning. I'm hoping that there will be a point that I will just be able to put it down and walk away. I'm finding the most difficult times to be in the evenings at home. Last night I was in the bed again by 9:45! I know that some of you are laughing at that because that is so not my usual. This weekend might be a true test of my will power!

I'm so freaking glad to be sailing into the weekend. Lots going on this weekend. Tennessee playing South Carolina, Georgia down in the Swamp. I'm not really a Georgia or Florida fan but I would not hesitate to go to the World's largest coctail party!! Holloween and Pride in Atlanta. What to do, what to do? So many options and such a small amount of time. Tomorrow heading to Atlanta with my Pocket Full of Sunshine and my Boys to check out Pride. I'm sure there will be plenty of ghosts and goblins in town!

Good Eats, and Good Tricks and Treats....

Day 4....

I have been jumping in and out of Fire Trucks most of the day so I haven't really even thought about dip. Weeeeeeeeell, except for when I broke my ankle! No just kidding, I didn't break it but it sure felt like I did! I have to say as the day winds down I am starting to have the thought pop up in my mind regularly. Dealing with this technology can be frustrating. When it comes to the technology world theory doesn't always translate over to real time!! Oh well.......

Gotta Go, Another Fire Truck calls........

Ooooooozing ........

Sitting here feeling triump on the day. I have only dipped 3 times today, but boy do I feel the consequences......... ............the meanness is ooooooozing out of me. I can feel the bulge in my eyeballs! No one has done anything to me? I have had a nice evening but for some reason I am feeling mad at the world.

Why does change require so much effort? It seems like all I have done this last year is analyze myself and try to implement some positive change in my life. In some areas I have been highly successful but in others I suck dirt!!!! It's hard to not want everything to be exactly the way you want it right NOW. I guess the inner Diva in me is poking it's little head (I know little is not a word used to describe my head often, just go with it) out and flexing her muscles.

She is a mighty beast!!! She is not to be messed with. It doesn't help to have a 60lb lab demnding every waking eye to on her. She is the Chocolate Princess dammit!

At this point the only thing I know to do is surrender...... Go to Bed! How hard that simple task seems to be sometimes. My mind runs constantly. What if's, Maybe's, Past, Present, Future, Family, Friends, Work, a house, more money, failure, success, What will be????? I still have so much work to do!!!!

Keep Moving Forward...... Patience and Persistance is the key...

Good Night

Morning of Day 3.....

Last night was not so bad, but I have to admit that I was in bed by 9:30. Of course, this is not necessarily a bad thing because I can be a night owl and it makes my mornings a little rough sometimes. However, I do not feel I can avoid the inevitable struggle of my idle mind wanting to put a dip in my mouth in the evenings. This may be my toughest part of this whole project!

This morning I had my usual wake-up dip but did not allow myself to have another on the drive to work. Instead I popped a piece of gum in my mouth (provided by my lovely Pocket Full of Sunshine) and cranked my ipod up and painlessly navigated myself to work. So Far not to difficult. Luckily, work is so chaotic that even if the thought does cross my mind I do not have the time to pause and placate the urge........

Today is my Mother's birthday and my family will be gathering for dinner this evening. It is always good times...... That is what I love the most! Great family, Good times, and Good food, a triple threat. They have been there since my story began.

Happy Birthday Momma! I love you

The After Lunch struggle........

Ok, so I put off lunch as long as I could because I knew that the stand off would begin. There is something about after eating that just fuels the fire to put a dip in my mouth. I guess in that aspect it's much like a cigarette smoker. I'm feeling the urge as I type and I know that this is going to be a difficult task......

It's been a 10yr + habit...... WOW, I don't think I ever realized that I have been dipping for that long. Thanks Collegiate Softball. I wonder if those that got me started are still dipping themselves?.... It has been by my side for many days. I introduced 1 neice, 4 nephews, and 1 godchild into this world while dipping. I have watched concerts, movies, ballgames, the ocean. I have dipped in Georgia, Florida, North Carolina, South Carolina, Alabama, Mississippi, Tennessee, Kentucky, Ohio, Utah, Denver, Montana, Minnesota, and Mexico. I found and lost a wife and still had my dipping. It's been with me for a very long time but now it must go..........

The Dip Project Begins.........

Last night I had this genius idea to start blogging my experience and continue to use this method to help with several other personal projects on my to do list. The Dip is at the top.

I know, many of you are wondering how does a GIRL wind up with a dip habit? In the words of one of my favorite bands Sugarland "It Happens!" I don't know that the road to my unhealthy addiction to Kodiak is relevant at this point but I know that it is time to kick the nasty habit!

Yesterday was the first step in this project and I found the day to be very easy to navigate. Of course, I am not niave and do know that there will be some rough days ahead. Hopefully, I have planned this out and can slowly put this crazy habit to rest and move on to the next project on my list.

For all my supporters, Thanks